I’m a psychologist – what your go-to sex position says about you & why spooning lovers are most likely to get dumped

ARE you more of a missionary or cowgirl lover?

Well, according to one top psychologist your favourite sex position can reveal lots of detail about your personality.

A sex expert has revealed what your favourite sex position says about you. Pictured, stock image

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A sex expert has revealed what your favourite sex position says about you. Pictured, stock imageCredit: Getty

Psychologist Barbara Santini (pictured) says your go-to sex position indicates what you're looking for in a relationship

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Psychologist Barbara Santini (pictured) says your go-to sex position indicates what you’re looking for in a relationshipCredit: Barbara Santini

Barbara Santini, who is a UK-based psychologist and sex advisor at peachesandscreams.co.uk, explains: “Subconsciously your ‘go-to sex move’ indicates exactly what you’re looking for in a relationship and what your individual characteristics are, giving a window to your inner thoughts, desires, likes and dislikes.”

“It might not be something that you’ve ever thought about, but how you connect with your romantic partner in this intimate way is more than just a matter of preference”.

Speaking exclusively to Fabulous, Barbara decodes what the most common FIVE sex positions say about you…

1. MISSIONARY

What is it: Missionary traditionally usually refers to a woman lying on her back and a man on top.

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What it reveals about your personality: Barbara notes that if missionary is your go-to sex position, it signifies you value intimacy and like to dominate in the bedroom.

“For women you are ultimately looking for a connection with your partner as you both stare into each other’s eyes,” she explains.

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Psychologically you ultimately want a deeper bond with your partner and are likely looking for calm in your daily life.”

She goes on to say you’re likely shy and timid as a person, and you won’t vocalise your needs.

“You may be self-conscious, worry about what others think of you and feel awkward in some social settings,” she explains.

Barbara adds that men who opt for this position are a “hunter and gatherer type,” have a “protective personality” and refuse to let anyone push them around.

However, she warns: “You can be considered unadventurous at times and stuck in your ways, with this sometimes you often seek reassurance as you may doubt your bedroom abilities and need a reassuring boost.”

“You also like to play things safe.”

2. COWGIRL POSITION 

What is it: When a woman is on top.

What it reveals about your personality: Barbara says that favouring the cowgirl position signifies you enjoy dominating your male partner in the bedroom.

“You’re sure of yourself and relish in the attention from others,” she explains. “You’re assertive and wear the trousers in your relationships.”

“You’re also adventurous and have a positive outlook on life.”

With your inner confidence you’re likely an accomplished career woman and you love to empower yourself.”

While spooning sex has many advantages, you both need to attend to each other’s needs, otherwise one of you may realise the other is too needy or just simply lazy, and soon enough you will be dumped

Barbara SantiniPsychologist and sex advisor

Meanwhile, the sexpert points out that if your man enjoys this positions, it’s likely he’s submissive – and wants both of you to be satisfied in the bedroom.

“For men, you’re quietly self-assured and willingly prefer your partner to lead,” she explains. “You happily go along for the ride and won’t question their decisions.”

You like to pleasure your partner and their happiness is important to you.”

Barbara adds that one of your biggest traits is you avoid any type of conflict as this makes you uneasy and anxious.  

She concludes: “Because you like to impress your partner you are also stylish and take pride in your appearance.”

3. SPOONING

What is it: An intimate sexual position where you both lie on your side and the woman is in front. Couples wrap their arms around each other. 

What it reveals about your personality: Barbara says that if spooning is your favourite sex position, it’s likely you love reassurance and affection.

“You can be shy sometimes and prefer not to be in the spotlight in social settings,” she continues.

The sex guru adds that chances are you’re naturally a passionate and sensitive person who values being in a long turn relationship.  

“You also have a caring side and are attentive to the people you that mean the most to you,” she says. “You ultimately want your loved ones to cherish you. You also value relaxation in your daily life.”

And according to Barbara, men who like the spooning position care about their partners.

“Simply put, they also want them to feel good and reach the big O,” she explains. “But it can also indicate you’re a bit lazy in certain areas of your life. This is because by nature spooning doesn’t take much effort.”

“Although some selfishness is a positive attribute, your unintentional lack of consideration for others often finds you in hot water.”

However, she warns: “While spooning sex has many advantages, you both need to engage in different sex styles and make an effort/attend to each other’s needs, otherwise one of you may realise the other is too needy or just simply lazy, and soon enough you will be dumped.”

4. DOGGY STYLE

What is it:  As the name suggests, it’s typically when woman lies on all fours and a man penetrates from behind.

What it reveals about your personality: According to Barbara, if doggy style is your go-to position, there’s a good chance you don’t favour intimacy.

“You want your partner to take control and it can indicate you like being submissive,” she explains. “On a subliminal level you prefer them to lead, and you trust them fully.”

For cowgirl lovers, you’re sure of yourself and relish in the attention from others. You’re assertive and wear the trousers in your relationships.

Barbara SantiniPsychologist and sex advisor

“Your trustworthiness makes you feel empowered and in turn you are willing to try new things. You desire to be an exhibitionist.”

However, Barbara warns that for men, it can be a big giveaway that you’re not really that passionate.  

“It can show your main personality traits are reserved, unromantic and you can be aloof at times and keep your distance – by nature the sexual position is not as intimate as others which suits you,” she explains. “It’s more functional than anything.”

You’re also a practical person who steers clear of drama or conflict.”

5. STANDING

What is it: Any sexual position that involves one partner standing during intercourse. 

What it reveals about your personality: “You’re both adventurous people who get a thrill for being spontaneous,” Barbara explains.

Specifically for women, you’re independent and self-assured. Like the move suggests, you don’t like to wait around and are a very busy person.”

“You know what you want and where you are headed in life. You’re a go-getter and grab an opportunity with both hands.”

The sexpert points out that you also prefer the bed sheets to stay in tack, which secretly shows you’re a clean freak and have great attention to detail – your home is immaculate.  

“You can also be a little bossy with friends and family although they love you for it as it just suggests deep down you have their best interests at heart,” she adds.

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Meanwhile, Barbara notes that if you’re a man who loves standing sex, the chances are you’re an independent career type who might not easily want to settle down.

“You like adventure, travelling and fun activities,” she explains. “You’re 100% spontaneous and have lots of friends because you are a good laugh and outgoing. You can be often found socialising or down the gym.”

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